It's never over. (dealing with somebody in a MH crisis)

Depression and anxiety isn’t helpful.

When it hits hard and I struggle to lift my body of the safe haven of self-hatred and my duvet my mind circulates the same thoughts over and over.  “This isn’t helpful.” Is one of them.  I have things I need to do today and now I’m floored by something I can’t stop and I’m frustrated with it and most of all myself.

The only people who can relate are those who have experienced it or studied it.  In a world where mental health is now a buzz term I struggle to see if, as a society, we are able to deal with it any better or if it’s just a nice thing to say you care about it.  Makes you seem like a more sympathetic and caring person.

It’s hard to deal with.  No doubt about that.  You need to know just how bad the episode is, what can you do or say to make them feel better, and what to avoid at all costs.  Do you leave them alone? Do you call them? Do you invite them round/go round to see them?  Despite time being the only thing that will in time allow this depressive episode to finish it’s doubtful that leaving a person in crisis alone until they have got through the storm will make them feel any better.

Part of the depression is feeling utterly alone – telling people how horrible you feel for them to ignore you or not acknowledge how bad this is for you makes it worse.

Try and put it in context of physical pain/illness. If somebody text you to tell you they were having a heart attack.  Would you say “Sorry to hear, hope you feel better soon!”? or would you do everything in your power to help them feel better.  Even just SIT with them until the pain stopped. 

If they insist on being alone, text them often to get updates on how they are feeling and tell them how much you value them being in your life.  Whatever you can do/say to make them feel comforted, loved and not alone in absolutely invaluable.

 

TLDR; in a MH crisis do what you can to make the person feel loved/valued.

 

All my feelings,

J9