How much do you hate yourself physically?

Open your eyes to media and you immediately understand what the media deems to be attractive physically.  What body types, colours and abilities are reflected in our wide range of media outlets.

What we usually see;

·         White people (or predominately white features)

·         CIS people (identifying as the gender assigned at birth)

·         Thin people

·         Able bodied

These then divide into how you can be attractive as a woman, and as a man.  Some features like being tall are deemed attractive for a man to have but not a woman.  In the same way having a high voice is supposed to be desirable in women but not in men.

With all of these unwritten rules come expectations, entitlement and inherent body shaming.  It’s seen that if you don’t have these qualities you must endeavour to get them or apologise for lacking them.

Being happy isn’t good for the economy.  If we were all happy it’d be pretty damn hard to sell us things.  We buy things in the hope they will improve us, and make us in turn more attractive and acceptable.  The world tells us we need plastic surgery, fake tan, make up, flawless skin, straight white teeth, anti-aging creams, the latest trends and the list is endless.

Self-improvement is addictive.  We’re never happy with ourselves and many people want to sell us something that can help with that insecurity.  Look at the success stories! Look how much weight she lost, look how her life changed after that nose job she always wanted. 

I makes me wonder why we’re all striving to be attractive instead of real.  We say we want a partner to accept us for who we are but we spend our lives trying to me the best self we can.  If we don’t try, we feel like we’ve given up.  Let ourselves go.

The body positive movement to me has the same values as basic intersectional feminism/equality.  All humans regardless of what way they look deserve to be accepted and given opportunities.

We have grown up in a world that uses “fat” as an insult. The truth is we all HAVE fat, in the same way we all have muscle, blood and skin.  I know many people are trying to reclaim this word and use it as describing word but not a negative one.  You can be fat and beautiful, you can be fat and a model, you can use fat as a word without meaning it to hurt.  Odds are it will though.

We have so many ways we can shame others for how they look, and it’s easy.  You can be too fat, too skinny, lanky, short-arse, nose too big, too spotty, yellow teeth, wonky teeth, no teeth, too hairy, too hairless and the list is endless.  You can’t abide by all of these and if you did it’d take money, plastic surgery and a hell of a lot of time.  By the time you’re done you’re branded superficial and vain.  You need to be all these things without trying or without looking like you are trying.

It’s exhausting and unattainable.  The message I’ve picked up on all of this was the question;
Aren’t you bored of hating yourself?

Which beckons the idea of self-love or at least self-acceptance.  It’s not easy but I think it’s a worthy battle and moves towards the end of you being happy with yourself – and fuck the rest of them who deem you be not good enough.

I think in order to put this way of thinking into action we shouldn’t support the ideas that people should change.  We should celebrate they way we are now, the age we are, the things we can do now. 

It’s natural to want to improve yourself, and work on things but finding a way to be happy with what you have is important because you may look back and think about how good that time was in your life.  You don’t want to miss out on enjoying life because you’re too busy wanting a smaller nose or waist.

People out there appreciate you for both the beauty in your heart and physical self.  Try and believe it.

All my feelings,
J9